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A Beautifully Burdened Life by Jenny Albers

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God, sometimes I forget to say thank you.

For this life that was once just a dream – a fantasy that seemed too far-fetched to ever become a reality.

For the extraordinary gifts that have been part of my life for so long they now seem ordinary. The ones I’ve lost sight of as they’ve seemingly shrunk in the shadows of the next big thing.

When the days are long and my temper is short, sometimes I forget there was a time when everything I have now is all I wanted then. I forget about the answered prayers.

God, sometimes I forget to say thank you.

For the voices that create a ruckus at the dawn of each day, reminding me of the joy in simply being alive.

For the silence that brings rest after the sun dips below the horizon.

For the arms that wrap around me.

For the hands that hold mine.

For the breath in my lungs, and theirs.

When it’s been a day and I’m desperate for sleep, sometimes I forget to say thank you for the warmth of a home and the comfort of a bed – even when I can’t stay in it for as long as I’d like.

God, sometimes I forget to say thank you.

For love and loyalty.

For shared laughter and sacred tears.

For the firsts I’ve been a part of and the second chances I’ve been given.

For the titles of “mother” and “wife.”

God, sometimes I forget to say thank you.

For hope.

And forgiveness.

And grace upon grace.

For the miracles in every day, the work of your hands ever-present.

God, sometimes I forget to say thank you for this life I don’t deserve. Over and over I forget.

But today, I listened. I looked. I lingered. I loved and was loved. I breathed in hope for the future and breathed out guilt from the past.

And I remembered.

So, thank you, God. Thank you, a thousand times over. For this life. For another day, another chance to give credit where credit is due. Thank you, God, for reminding me of the goodness I so easily forget.

© A Beautifully Burdened Life by Jenny Albers

Thanksgiving Past

I smell the aroma of turkey being basted

I taste the sweetness of the yams

The tart cranberries

I feel you

That room

The machine pumping air into you

Slap Slap

I feel your fear

Its in your face

My heart bleeds out

It will never be the same

But we will forever be thankful

Your love shaped us

FMS- 11/26/19 @ 1991 Dad

A wave over your head

THIS IS PERFECT!

“What’s it like to go through cancer treatment? It’s something like this:

One day, you’re minding your own business, you open the fridge to get some breakfast, and OH MY GOD THERE’S A MOUNTAIN LION IN YOUR FRIDGE.

Wait, what? How? Why is there a mountain lion in your fridge? NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. RUN! THE MOUNTAIN LION WILL KILL YOU! UNLESS YOU FIND SOMETHING EVEN MORE FEROCIOUS TO KILL IT FIRST!

So you take off running, and the mountain lion is right behind you. You know the only thing that can kill a mountain lion is a bear, and the only bear is on top of the mountain, so you better find that bear. You start running up the mountain in hopes of finding the bear.

Your friends desperately want to help, but they are powerless against mountain lions, as mountain lions are godless killing machines. But they really want to help, so they’re cheering you on and bringing you paper cups of water and orange slices as you run up the mountain and yelling at the mountain lion – “GET LOST, MOUNTAIN LION, NO ONE LIKES YOU” – and you really appreciate the support, but the mountain lion is still coming.

Also, for some reason, there’s someone in the crowd who’s yelling “that’s not really a mountain lion, it’s a puma” and another person yelling “I read that mountain lions are allergic to kale, have you tried rubbing kale on it?”

As you’re running up the mountain, you see other people fleeing their own mountain lions. Some of the mountain lions seem comparatively wimpy – they’re half grown and only have three legs or whatever, and you think to yourself – why couldn’t I have gotten one of those mountain lions? But then you look over at the people who are fleeing mountain lions the size of a monster truck with huge prehistoric saber fangs, and you feel like an asshole for even thinking that – and besides, who in their right mind would want to fight a mountain lion, even a three-legged one?

Finally, the person closest to you, whose job it is to take care of you – maybe a parent or sibling or best friend or, in my case, my husband – comes barging out of the woods and jumps on the mountain lion, whaling on it and screaming “DAMMIT MOUNTAIN LION, STOP TRYING TO EAT MY WIFE,” and the mountain lion punches your husband right in the face. Now your husband (or whatever) is rolling around on the ground clutching his nose, and he’s bought you some time, but you still need to get to the top of the mountain.

Eventually you reach the top, finally, and the bear is there. Waiting. For both of you. You rush right up to the bear, and the bear rushes the mountain lion, but the bear has to go through you to get to the mountain lion, and in doing so, the bear TOTALLY KICKS YOUR ASS, but not before it also punches your husband in the face.

And your husband is now staggering around with a black eye and bloody nose, and saying “can I get some help, I’ve been punched in the face by two apex predators and I think my nose is broken,” and all you can say is “I’M KIND OF BUSY IN CASE YOU HADN’T NOTICED I’M FIGHTING A MOUNTAIN LION.”

Then, IF YOU ARE LUCKY, the bear leaps on the mountain lion and they are locked in epic battle until finally the two of them roll off a cliff edge together, and the mountain lion is dead.

Maybe. You’re not sure – it fell off the cliff, but mountain lions are crafty. It could come back at any moment.

And all your friends come running up to you and say “that was amazing! You’re so brave, we’re so proud of you! You didn’t die! That must be a huge relief!”

Meanwhile, you blew out both your knees, you’re having an asthma attack, you twisted your ankle, and also you have been mauled by a bear. And everyone says “boy, you must be excited to walk down the mountain!” And all you can think as you stagger to your feet is “fuck this mountain, I never wanted to climb it in the first place.”

-Author unknown

A Must Read

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As The World Turns

11/26/19

Welcome to my blog! Its a place for me to escape and write. Its a place for you to escape should you wish to.

I am passionate about making a difference in this crazy world. From a teenie bopper in 1981 to a wife in 1986 to a Mom in 1991 and 1996, its been a wonderful life.

There are no words to describe the feeling of giving birth to a child. All of you mommies out there know that feeling! It is by far my greatest accomplishment. Twenty seven and twenty two years later, I am humbled by the individuals that we have raised. They are both so full of love and respect for everyone and everything. We couldn’t have done a better job! This truly is my greatest JOY in the world. They consistently make us so proud.

Its the little things that matter.( the notes on the table, the feet on the stairs as they come for a goodnight kiss, and the texts and phone calls checking in.)

I have been so blessed! In October of 2015 I was given a stroke. (I say “given” because I have learned that I didn’t “have” it. I never accepted or took ownership of it. I never say it was “my” stroke. I didn’t ask for it, and roared like the fire to fight it. After a long year, I won! The lesson taught me so much. Sometimes we have to understand that God removes us from bad situations to put us in a better one. Sometimes it is a scary detour, but necessary. He certainly did that for me.

In 2018 I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Breast Cancer. It was so reminiscent of my Mom and her battle. It was that day that I decided that I had a bigger purpose. It was another time that made me count my blessings and march forward . It was a very emotional,long road indeed. However, I plan to spend life “Paying it Forward”.

This Blog is dedicated to all of my Pink Sisters (thank you endlessly for the strength and guidance) and to all who suffered from a stroke. I am here to share that we can move forward and spread happy. We can make a difference in someone else’s life just by being kind. This world has turned into a scary place. Its very “peep-olie” out there! We have to learn to spread love to the hearts that are open to it. For those that are not receptive, we can only offer them hope and prayer.

Stop in and check out the page once in awhile. My life had indeed been FRANDEMONIUM. Thank you to all that have shared my journey in any capacity. Those that know me understand. Those who don’t, soon will. Thank you for checking in and I look forward to your feedback. God Bless.

Friends:

It’s been a road, smooth and bumpy and miles long. The people I hold dearest are my tour guides. I am thankful that you are my co-pilot in this crazy life. Your love keeps me forever on track. My friends that I met along the way. I have learned that some folks don’t belong in our lives forever. Some are there to bring you joy in the moments you most crave peace. I am forever grateful to my guides, their love and the mark they have left on my life. Near or far, you know who you are. I miss you but our connection is forever. I’ll meet you on the other side..

• 

The Fire

She was tired of fighting the fire…so she became the fire.

Lessons:

• 

You know the things you have always wanted to do?

Go do them…..Time waits for no one.

This is my blog about Light and Love.

These pages will share the things that I write, the things that I love, my expressions from the heart. Thank you for stopping by, Feel free to follow me and write some of your own. This is my escape from Politics and hatred. Its an escape into our own hearts, our real life as we choose to live it. It is my hope to touch many people, to share in the raw emotions of the life we live and the love we give…That’s what it is all about!